MAGIC         PORK

There’s this little pizza place at Park & Oxford called Piatza’s Pizza. It’s in the little shack that used to be Pizza Pizza. I’m no business-savvy Apprentice contestant, but wouldn’t it be a good idea to put your phone number somewhere on your website? Just a suggestion.

Anyway, I like their pizza. One night I stopped there for a couple of slices of pepperoni. They were out of slices of pepperoni because 4 big guys came in right before me and took them all. I could wait 10 minutes for a new pizza to be done or just take cheese so I grudgingly took the cheese.

Then a couple of weeks later, I was driving home and again decided I’d stop in for a couple of slices of pizza. This time they were out of slices altogether. They had just put a pizza in so I decided I wasn’t going to be denied this time. I waited 10 minutes for the slices to come out and bought two slices of pepperoni for $2 each.

I found out later that they have a special going on until end of March: get a large pizza for $5 plus toppings. Of course no one told me about that. If I was going to wait for a pizza, I might as well have gotten a large and had leftovers for only $2.50 more. But it wasn’t a big deal because two slices is all I wanted, and in fact was more than enough because they’re big slices.

Which brings me to the best part. Once again, a couple of weeks later, I decide to grab a slice of pizza on my way home. I wasn’t that hungry so I figure I’ll just get one slice, and that way I also won’t feel like I’m getting ripped off as much as if I paid almost as much as the price of a large. I figure they can’t screw me over with the slices again.

I walked in and didn’t see any slices on the counter. I’m thinking “no way”. But it turns out they just came out of the oven and the guy’s slicing up the pizza using this wire-thingie he puts over it to guide where he slices it. He put this HUMONGOUS pizza on the counter. It was sliced into 8 pieces. The other guy says something about how they’ve been waiting for months for that big-slice thing and it finally came in.

The slicer guy tries to get one of the slices into the box and it doesn’t fit. He tells the other guy that the pizza’s too damn big and the other guy rearranges it so it’s diagonal in the box and it still barely fits. I’m looking at this thing in shock. I’ve never seen a slice of pizza that big before. Of course the price is $3 instead of $2 now. All I wanted was a slice of pizza! That may by definition be a slice, but there has to be some point where you stop calling it a slice. Maybe when it’s bigger than your head.

I snapped a picture of it next to my size 11 shoe so you can see just how big it is.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, March 22nd, 2006 at 9:04 pm and is filed under general. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.