MAGIC         PORK

I’ve been using the Gillette Mach 3 Power razor. That’s the one with three blades that vibrates. It’s a good razor. But they came out with a 5 blade razor a while back called the Gillette Fusion. I’ve been meaning to give it a try for a while and finally got around to purchasing one. I mean why not? They price the razors really low because they get you on the replacement blades.

FoodMike posted about the Gillette Fusion last September, so he scooped me by 7 months on this. But I haven’t seen an update about how awesome it is, so I’m assuming he didn’t try it out yet.

Well make whatever jokes you want, the 5 blade razor rocks! Like the one I had before, it also comes in a vibrating model, which of course was the one I chose. I like the weight of it, the feel of it, and I swear it does irritate my skin less than the 3 blade one. I still haven’t figured out if the vibrating thing is just psychological or if it really makes a difference, but when I first tried the 3-blade vibrating one, I was blown away. I’ll never go back to a non-vibrating one. I mean if you were an Indian would you go back to using a tomahawk once you discovered guns? Wait, that was one of the worst analogies ever. I don’t even know what it meant. Nevermind.

If you look at the shelf in my bathroom (please knock first), you’ll also see Gillette shaving gel, Gillette after shave lotion, and Gillette deodorant. But I haven’t been using the Gillette Fusion Hydra Gel, just some other Gillette gel. According to the website:

Its proprietary aloe-rich formula is designed to partner with the Fusion shaving system for an incredibly comfortable shave.

Well holy cow, I better pick that up! Here I’ve been using a gel that’s not designed to be partnered with my razor. I could be having an even better shaving experience! I don’t know how a gel could possibly work better with one razor over another, but I’m not director of their research laboratory. No, that’s Cassandra, who guides you through the website and also happens to be really really hot. Now a cynic would suggest that she’s just an actress but I would never want to imply that beautiful women can’t become directors of shaving research laboratories. (But seriously, that website is hilarious!)

Now you may be thinking “MagicPork.com has sold out!” but I swear I’m not getting any money from Gillette. But only because I haven’t tried. I would sell out in a heartbeat. If anyone from the Gillette marketing department is reading this, feel free to post a comment and I’ll get back to you. I’m sure you know that viral marketing is the hot thing now and magicpork.com could be the perfect vehicle to push your products. I could just place a “Powered by Gillette” logo on the page, but it would be so much more effective if I worked Gillette into my posts. I could make it so subtle that no one would even know.

For example, here’s a snippet from a recent post:

There’s something that I’ve been afraid to admit. I know I’m not going to make friends with this post, but I’m going to come clean here. I don’t like Family Guy.

OK, now here’s the Gillette-friendly post:

There’s something that I’ve been afraid to admit. I know I’m not going to make friends with this post, but I’m going to come clean here. As clean as a shave with the Gillette Fusion razor. Its 5 blade shaving surface technology distributes the shaving force across the blades to help reduce pressure – for less irritation and more comfort. I don’t like Family Guy.

If you had trouble seeing the difference, try reading it over again really carefully. It’s almost undetectable yet it will work on my readers at a subconscious level.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, April 18th, 2006 at 10:01 pm and is filed under general. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.