MAGIC         PORK

I wanted to come up with some funny derogatory nickname for Blockbuster that would reflect what I’m about to say, but “Blockbusted” was the best I could do. I know, it’s not that funny. But I tried.

I’m a little mad at Blockbuster because on three occasions recently I’ve rented a DVD (the old-fashioned way, from the store not online) and it stopped playing part way through because of scratches. It’s possible my DVD player is more sensitive than most, but it’s only 4-5 years old and it’s a decent machine. Plus I look at the DVD and there are pretty noticeable scratches. So I have to drive to the store and swap it out with another copy. I bet they just put it back on the shelf after I leave too.

Has anyone else had problems with this or am I just unlucky? I probably shouldn’t be too frustrated with Blockbuster because I’m not sure what they can do to fix that, besides analyzing every DVD that gets returned. But it’s still very frustrating.

What’s also frustrating is how filthy the DVDs always are. I’ll often rinse and wipe off a DVD before playing it, because I’ve also had problems in the past with DVDs not playing correctly from having so many smudges and fingerprints on them. And besides, I just don’t want to put something that gross inside my DVD player.

I know ultimately the customers are to blame for this. I really don’t understand what’s going on here. How long have CDs and DVDs been around? Are there really people that don’t understand that you’re not supposed to touch that shiny side without the label?

You can hold it by its edges:

You can hold it by its edges and the hole in the middle:

You can even hold it with just one finger:

I understand that people typically treat property that’s not theirs worse than they would their own property (i.e. rental cars, hotel rooms) but it’s not like it’s easier to hold a DVD when you put your fingers all over it. Do people just get their kicks out of being able to hold it differently than they would their own DVDs? “Oh goody! A rental DVD. I’ll be able to grab it like a frisbee instead of gripping it by its edges! I’m so sick of doing it that way.” Or do people actually handle their own DVDs that way? This isn’t a rhetorical question. Given the pervasiveness of this, there’s probably someone reading this that handles these DVDs incorrectly. Why? I’m beginning to fear I’m in the minority here.

Perhaps your hands aren’t large enough to hold it like in example #1, but if you have small hands then you can probably fit your finger into the hole. But fine, if you have small hands but really thick fingers then you’re excused. Just do me a favor and wash off that Orville Redenbacher butter from your hands before handling it, will you?

There’s another group of people that can be excused: young children. But parents shouldn’t be letting their little kids put their grimy hands all over a DVD that doesn’t belong to them. They should be teaching them about respecting someone else’s property and if they’re not old enough to be able to handle it properly, then they shouldn’t be handling it at all. “But it’s so amazing how little Timmy learned how to put in the DVD and press play all by himself!” Wow, someone call Harvard and start the early enrollment process.

OK, I’m sure some parents will think I’m being a little harsh but you know what, it’s doesn’t matter because if your kid is watching The Girl Next Door, X-Men 2, and The Sopranos Season 4 Volume 3, then you’ve got a couple more important lessons to teach before you get to the “respect other people’s property” chapter. (By the way, I refuse to call the X-Men sequel X2. I know that’s the official title. It’s stupid.)

This all makes me wonder: If I started using Netflix or Blockbuster online, would I have these same issues, except that instead of driving to the nearest Blockbuster I’d have to put it in the mail and wait for the new one to get shipped back?

This entry was posted on Thursday, June 8th, 2006 at 10:46 pm and is filed under movies. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.