MAGIC         PORK

Subtitle: My generous uvula

After going to some of the aforementioned clubs Thursday night, I hit the sack. During the night I woke up and felt like I was choking on something. I could breathe okay, but something was in my throat, making me gag. So I went to the bathroom and tried to cough it up. I figured out that something seemed to be hanging from my uvula, that thing that hangs down at the back of your mouth. (see diagram)

(That doesn’t look comfortable - couldn’t they have just pulled the lips back with their fingers?)

I could feel it with my tongue and I tried pushing it up against the roof of my mouth to dislodge it. Eventually I realized… it was my uvula. My uvula had gotten immensely big and hung down really far into my throat, triggering my gag reflex. I had never experienced this before, nor heard of this type of thing. But after I realized what was happening, I managed to deal with the gagging okay and decided to just go back to sleep.

But around 8 AM, I woke up choking again. My throat was also sore. This time I said okay something weird’s going on here. (Yes, you would think I would have reached that conclusion the first time but I hadn’t gotten much sleep.) I called my doctor - he was out of the office but I got the doctor on duty. After describing the problem (except I couldn’t remember what that thing that hangs down was called) and answering a couple questions, conversation went like:

Her: (calmly) Okay, well how about you come in and we’ll take a look?

Me: I can’t come in, I’m in Las Vegas.

Her: (not too calmly) You’re in Las Vegas right now??!

Me: Yeah, I’m on vacation.

Her: (with very serious tone) OK you need to go to a hospital or clinic right away, within the next hour or two. No question.

Me: Uh… okay.

Her: No question.

So I took a cab to some emergency clinic that happened to be right down the street. After waiting about 90 minutes I finally got in to see the doctor and he said it was probably just a sore throat. He would normally do a culture but I was only in town for a short while so he gave me a prescription for antibiotics and said if it was still a problem when I got back home, see my doctor. (Coincidentally it turns out the doctor used to work at Strong Memorial here in Rochester.)

I was starting to think maybe I had been bitten by some weird desert insect or something the way the doctor had reacted over the phone, but she was probably just being really cautious. I still don’t know what the heck that was all about, but turns out a couple people I know have had that happen before so I won’t worry too much about it. The uvula went down in size over the next couple days and I managed to not let it or the sore throat ruin my weekend. Who’d have known that gin & tonics make good sore throat cures? (Don’t take medical advice from magicpork.com.)

Even though I was feeling better, a couple days after getting home I went to see my doctor and he said whatever it was, it was gone now. I swear my uvula is still not quite back to normal but maybe I’m just more aware of it now. My doctor said that it looked like I just had a “generous uvula”. I had to smile at that but refrained from saying “that’s what the ladies say”. He says my generous uvula probably contributed to the problem.

Not quite the Vegas post you were expecting huh? OK, how’s this.. I saw the comedian Bobby Slayton perform and he was really funny. Oh and we had some cab drivers say some amusing things which I absolutely can’t repeat here.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, October 31st, 2007 at 2:54 pm and is filed under general. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.