MAGIC         PORK

I’m a little late posting this considering it occurred in AUGUST, but better late than never…

I’ve wanted to go back to Lollapalooza every year since the other time I went in 2006 (see here and here). I finally went back this year and again had a great time. I went with my friend Joe. We got a hotel right next to Grant Park, where it takes place. The weather was perfect all three days. Perhaps a tad too warm at times – we saw more than one person faint – but I was good with the sunscreen and hydration.

At night, we hit some bars in Chicago. Didn’t quite know where we were going, but we managed to find some good spots. We were talking to someone in a bar that was closing at 2 am, and she said that there were other bars open until 5 or 6. In DC, they have to stop serving at 3 am. In Rochester, it’s 2 am. So 6 am is pretty damn cool in my book, although we didn’t stay out past 4 so I can’t verify.

After leaving that bar at 2, we got into a cab and asked him to take us to some bar that was still open. He wasn’t very helpful at first – just asked where we wanted to go. We eventually got him to understand that we didn’t care where we went, as long as we weren’t going to get shot, there were people there, and it wasn’t all the way on the other side of Chicago. He took us to some district that I don’t remember the name of, and we went to a couple of bars that I also don’t remember the name of. It was a couple of miles north of Grant Park – maybe someone from Chicago will know.

One of the bars was very… interesting. There was a raised platform behind the bar with three stripper poles and patrons would get up there and dance. There was also an island that people would sit on the edge of and it also had a stripper pole or two so girls would get up there and dance. I couldn’t figure out if this used to be a strip club that had been turned into a bar, or if they purposely had designed it this way. At any rate, I was sitting on the edge of that island when some blond girl that had been dancing a little ways in front of me came over and extended her hand to me. Well I didn’t know what the heck that meant but I took her hand, then it became clear she wanted me to help her get up onto the island.

Listen up gentlemen, because I’m going to tell you how you handle a situation like this: Stand up on the island, pull her up to you, and start dancing with her. Easy, right? Did I do that? Of course not. I instead tried to pull her up onto the island from my seated position, and since I didn’t have the right angle, and she was wearing these ridiculous heels, she fell back on her ass. She just looked at me with this shocked expression, like she couldn’t believe I just let her fall. Yes, I’m suave.

But back to Lollapalooza… These are the performers we saw:

Friday:

• B.o.B – This was a good way to start out the festival. He was upbeat and energetic and looked like he was genuinely having a great time. Really got the audience into it. And he ended with a cover of MGMT’s “Kids” which was great. I love it when artists throw in some covers to their sets.
• Balkan Beat Box – Very cool music.
• American Bang – They were okay. A little generic sounding.
• Drive-By Truckers – The songs I’d heard of theirs online I thought sounded sort of catchy and had some funny lyrics. But at the festival, I listened to them for about three songs and was incredibly bored so we left to go catch Devo. Looked like they had a decent following though.
• Devo – That’s right, Devo. They put on a good show. I had to give them credit for some of the crazy outfits they wore because some of them were not very flattering to men of their age with a little bit of extra weight, but they certainly didn’t seem to care.
• Hot Chip – I saw them at Lollapalooza in 2006. Back then, they were on one of the smaller stages but this time they were on the big one and there were a whole lot more people watching them. However, I think a lot of people were in the audience because they were getting there early to stake their spot for Lady Gaga, who was going to perform on that stage an hour after Hot Chip ended. I think Hot Chip may have been a tad peeved over basically warming up for Lady Gaga, but that’s just my guess. There were a few times they’d say “are you looking forward to Lady Gaga” or “stick around for Lady Gaga” and I couldn’t tell if they were being sincere or not. Then at the end, when the lead singer guy (I don’t know their names and don’t feel like looking it up) was done singing, he just walked off stage while the rest of the band finished up without waving goodbye to the crowd or anything. As far as how they sounded, they were good, but one of the band members – the one with the deep voice - couldn’t make it because his wife was about to give birth. They dubbed in some of his solos, but you could still tell he was missing on some of the songs.
• Lady Gaga – She put on an awesome show. Her music’s catchy and all, but that’s not the reason someone goes to see Lady Gaga. The costumes and sets were over-the-top ridiculous. She also went on these long rants about how she was made fun of in school but now she’s popular. Over and over. It was so absurd I just laughed. The most bizarre point in the concert was probably when she had a big monster on stage with teeth and long tentacles (controlled by dudes with sticks). This was during the “Paparazzi” song. She told the audience it was the “fame monster” and told everyone to take its picture because it was the only way to defeat it. Then she screamed “don’t rape me” at it.

Saturday:

• The Soft Pack – Caught some of their set, and they were okay.
• Dragonette – They were very entertaining: fun, cheesy synth pop dance music. I figured they were European, but I see they’re from Toronto.
• The xx – Had a huge crowd, and were good but a little mellower than I was in the mood for at the time.
• Metric – They were good, but what I remember the most about this was that it seemed to be the peak of the sun & heat. We had to call uncle and get out of there for a bit. Some big dude in front of us kept fainting and trying to stand back up, before his friends finally got him out of there. It was also the time some people near us started smoking pot - oh wait, no that was EVERY CONCERT we saw all weekend.
• Spoon – I’m running out of things to say about these bands. They were good.
• Green Day – I wasn’t even looking forward to this concert. I figured I’d see them because, well they’re Green Day, but I’ve never been a huge fan of their music. I bought Dookie and Insomniac back in college, and they’ve had some good songs since then obviously, but I could pretty much take them or leave them. So I was surprised when they put on a phenomenal concert! The pyrotechnics and visuals were great, and they interacted with the audience and just looked like they were having a great time. Their songs kicked ass too, when they were blasted that loud. They got one guy to do his first stage dive, and Billie Joe Armstrong had to keep telling people to put down their cell phones and cameras so that they could catch him. How lame is that? He must have been thinking “what’s wrong with these kids these days!” They had a different guy come up on stage to sing “Longview” and he was great. He ran all over the stage and acted like a total rock star. You could tell this was a dream come true for him. He kissed Billie Joe on the mouth so I think he may have had a bit of an unhealthy obsession with the band. Green Day invites an audience member to do that at every concert, but Billie Joe told him he was the best one he’d seen on this tour and gave him his guitar.

Sunday:

• Didi Gutman of Brazilian Girls – There’s one stage that was devoted to DJs and Joe and I hung out there for a little while on Sunday. I didn’t exactly feel like dancing that early in the day, but it was fun to listen to. Anyway, this was one of the DJs we listened to and he was good.
• NERVO – Came on after Didi Gutman and were also good. Two blond girls from Britain.
• Yeasayer - I think I saw these guys but I don’t really remember much about it.
• Wolfmother – I saw them at the last Lollapalooza and they kicked so much ass, I knew we had to make sure to catch them this year too. And sure enough, they were awesome. They just ROCK, plain and simple.
• Cypress Hill – They were good. I mean they were Cypress Hill, so you know what to expect: “Insane in the Brain”, rapping about weed and killing people… what more needs to be said?
• Soundgarden – At this point you may be looking at the date of this post again to make sure you didn’t enter a wormhole to 1994. Yes, this is 2010 and we saw Green Day, Cypress Hill, and Soundgarden. I was a big fan of Soundgarden back in late high school and college. I remember listening to Badmotorfinger on cassette tape. Superunknown was one of the first CDs I ever bought. (Before you comment that I’m THAT ancient – I was one of the later converts to CDs, okay??) I don’t own a cassette player now and never bought Badmotorfinger on CD, so some of those songs I haven’t heard in a long time and I forgot just how awesome they were. There were no fancy special effects, these guys just rocked out. Chris Cornell even has long hair again so it was perfect. I had to laugh at times when he’d do his high pitched wail because it’s been 20 years since they recorded some of these songs but they still got it. I was psyched when they sang “4th of July” because that’s one of my favorites but it’s not a “hit” so I didn’t know if they’d perform that one. They did “Gun”, “Jesus Christ Pose”, “Rusty Cage”… It was awesome. I included links in case you’re either too old or too young to know Soundgarden. (By the way, if you’ve never heard Johnny Cash’s cover of “Rusty Cage” you should check that out.)

My dear readers, after having devoured my numerous insightful Magic Pork postings, I’m sure there’s one question that’s been nagging you. But so far none of you have had the courage to ask me, so allow me to posit the question for you:

“Kevin, are you ever wrong about anything?”

Well allow me to put your minds at ease. Although my powers of deductive reasoning may far surpass those of other mortals, I do on occasion come to an incorrect conclusion. Case in point: the Pixies.

I had the great pleasure of seeing the Pixies in concert yesterday at the D.A.R. Constitution Hall here in DC. They were great seats - orchestra level, 20 rows back from the stage. I’ve wanted to see the Pixies in concert for a long time. I’m not a big concert-goer and there are plenty of bands that I like that I really don’t care about seeing in concert. But the Pixies are one of my favorite bands and I was psyched about seeing them. They didn’t disappoint - the concert was awesome! When Black Francis (a.k.a. Frank Black) was screaming and growling on “Tame“, I thought “wow, this guy sounds the same as he did 20 years ago”.

So what’s this have to do with me being wrong? Well for that, we have to go back to 1995, at my first co-op. (That’s what we call it at R.I.T. - a paid internship that’s a requirement for graduation. You take four quarters of co-op. A “quarter” is what R.I.T. has instead of a semester… oh never mind it’s not important!!) I was working the summer of 1995 at a company called Macbeth. They made these instruments called goniospectrophotometers, which I loved to put on my resume for years after that just because it sounded important. The instruments would capture color from four different angles and they had software that worked in conjunction with the instruments to analyze the color, make sure it was within certain bounds and stuff like that. For example, you might use it to make sure the cars that come off of the assembly line are all coming out a perfect “lakeshore slate”. Don’t ask too many questions because did I mention this was back in 1995? I don’t remember much more than that. There were graphs and stuff. It was kind of a funny job for me to have considering I’m colorblind.

There was a girl in her early 20’s that worked at the Munsell color lab there named Anne Marie. We didn’t work together on anything, but somehow we became work-friends. You know, a person you’re friends with at work, but you never do anything with outside of work. We’d usually eat lunch together in the break room. I remember her last name too because I’ve never met anyone with a name like that, but I’ll spare her from having Magic Pork come up on Internet searches of her name and will omit it.

Well one day she let me borrow a Pixies CD. It was Doolittle. I listened to it that night and thought “eh, it’s okay”. I told her as much the next day when I gave it back to her and she was shocked. She was blown away by the Pixies the first time she heard them and she thought I would love them too based on my musical tastes. But just didn’t do it for me.

Fast-forward to a few years later. I don’t remember when, but Fight Club came out in 1999 and I remember being excited that they were playing “Where is My Mind?” at the end so it was definitely before that. Maybe ‘98? I was in a used CD store and saw Doolittle. I don’t know what possessed me to purchase it, but for some reason I decided to give it another shot, even though I wasn’t any more familiar with their music than the last time I had listened to it. I bought it and this time I LOVED it. I then went and bought their other CDs and I became a fan. I couldn’t even comprehend how I could have not loved it the first time.

That’s it. That’s my long-winded story about how I was wrong at one point back in 1995.

A while back - maybe a year or so? - I started to write a post about Michael Jackson. I abandoned the post because it just wasn’t working. I had some vague disjointed ideas but when I went to write them up, it wasn’t flowing right and was just kind of stupid. I’m sure it appears that I just slap these posts together, but believe it or not I put effort into them. That’s how bad of a writer I am that these are the best I got in me. Occasionally I’ve started posts that just weren’t up to the high standards of Magic Pork and they never saw the light of day. I was always disheartened that I abandoned that Michael Jackson post because I felt like there was gold to be mined there.

Now, with the news that Michael Jackson is dead, and with my friends and family starting to harass me to post something, it’s time. But there’s still no flow to these ideas so I’ll just make a bulleted list and throw out there whatever comes to mind.

• Michael Jackson’s little girlish outbursts - you know, the “hee”, “hoo” type noises - what do you call them? There’s got to be a term for that. Well whatever they’re called, they’re absolutely one of the best contributions to pop music ever. You could make a mediocre pop song good just by throwing in some Jacksongasms. Jacksongasm!  I just made that up now! What do you think? It works, right? So got a word for it now. I don’t want to picture “Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin’” or “The Way You Make Me Feel” without Jacksongasms. That last part of “Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin’” with the “ma-ma-say-ma-ma-sah-ma-ma-ku-sah” (that Rihanna lifted for “Don’t Stop The Music”)? It’s good, but the accompanying Jacksongasms push it to great. He just goes insane with them at the end of that song. I picture Quincy Jones saying “more Jacksongasm!” like Christopher Walken in that “more cowbell” SNL skit.
  
  Now that I repeat “Jacksongasm” that many times, it’s lost its appeal to me. Must use that sparingly.
• “Just Good Friends” with Stevie Wonder is underrated.
• “The Girl Is Mine” with Paul McCartney is rated just right - it’s not a very good song. It’s like a bad Vegas lounge act. But I do give it points for two things: The bridge is decent, and the talking at the end is (I assume unintentionally) hilarious. You have to listen to it to get the full effect, but here’s what they say:
  
  Paul: Michael, we’re not going to fight about this, okay?
  Michael: Paul, I think I told you: I’m a lover not a fighter.
  Paul: I’ve heard it all before, Michael. She told me that I’m her forever lover, you know, don’t you remember?
  Michael: Well, after loving me she said she couldn’t love another.
  Paul: Is that what she said?
  Michael: Yes, she said it. You keep dreaming.
  Paul: I don’t believe it.
  
  Yeah Paul I wouldn’t believe that either. The best line is “She told me that I’m her forever lover”. Who talks like that? Cracks me up, but that’s probably just me.
• If asked to compare the two, I would have to say Thriller is a superior album to Bad. Pretty much everyone would. Then why do I tend to listen to Bad more often? Does that mean I like it more? I don’t know - it may be because Thriller has some great songs but also some not-so-great songs (see above), whereas Bad may not have as many great songs but it’s pretty consistently good. Or it could just be that I hear the songs from Thriller so often that they wore on me. When I lived in Rochester, I’d sometimes go to this bar that plays a lot of 80’s songs called Vinyl and some of those songs (”Thriller”, “P.Y.T.”, “Billie Jean”, “Beat It”) were in regular rotation. Someone needs to tell their DJ that there are a whole lot of 80’s songs. He doesn’t need to play the same ones every weekend. But hey the bar was always packed so what do I know.
• I remember after “Dirty Diana” was released - I was in junior high school I think - I heard two boys talking about metal bands and hard rock stuff. Then one of them said that “Dirty Diana” was pretty good. And you know what? He was right - that song kicks ass. It’s just begging for a cover by Disturbed. Disturbed did two awesome hard rock covers of 80’s songs: “Shout” by Tears For Fears and “Land of Confusion” by Genesis. I know they could do something great with “Dirty Diana”.
• Speaking of covers, the video to Alien Ant Farm’s cover of “Smooth Criminal” was really good. It walks a perfect line between homage and satire, and their cover is just great too. I hated that other song they released from that album though - “Movies” or something. I’d say they should stick to other people’s songs but are they even around any more? This wikipedia page lists the Michael Jackson references in the video, and the video is on YouTube, although the quality is horrible like most videos on YouTube.
• I can’t figure out why after listening to the entire Bad album, it’s always “Liberian Girl” that gets stuck in my head. That’s the worst song on the album so why does that happen?? Even if I skip past the song, it still happens. I don’t even listen to it and it still gets into my head! That’s just not fair. It’ll probably happen now just because I wrote about it. That’s how much I sacrifice to bring this great content to you.

I suppose I should end with some statement about his death. I’m not a huge Michael Jackson fan despite what it may look like from me rambling on about the guy. I think he was very talented though, and to be honest I always personally believed that he wasn’t a child molester, just some really odd guy with a stunted mental maturity and isolated enough from reality to not know or care how his closeness to kids was perceived. So - am I sad he’s dead? No, not in particular - but I do think it’s unfortunate. He made great music, he was a unique guy (very unique), and I think the world may just have been a little better with him in it - or at least more interesting.

A while back, I posted about Grand Buffet. I haven’t been following them much since then, but looks like they came out with a new full-length album this year. I’ve listened to snippets of some of the tracks on Amazon and their sound is a little different. Not sure if I’ll like it as much as what I’ve heard from them before but I’ll probably give it a try.

The reason I’m thinking of Grand Buffet is that I was listening to them the other day in the car. During their song “Stocking Stuffer”, I heard one of the same rhymes that was used in “Maggie May”, which I critiqued in my previous post. They rhyme “pool” with “school” but in their case the lyrics make sense and don’t feel forced. So I thought I should post the lyrics to this song as an example of good lyrics. It’s a short song. Here they are:

Stocking Stuffer

Santa Claus once picked me up after school
We had some drinks, we shot some pool
Told me that he’s not a one woman man
He’s got a few, they understand
Over some dinner we talked about things
He ordered ribs, I got some wings
He said he fancied the girl in my life
Asked me if she could be his for a night
How could I say no to old Saint Nick?
He fills up my stocking with beautiful gifts

Santa Santa Santa
Got my girlfriend pregnant this Christmas
That’s not what I had on top of my wish list
Santa Santa Santa
Had a one night stand with my lady
This Christmas Santa Claus gave me a baby

I think it’s time for another post about bad lyrics. Almost two years ago, I griped about Silverchair lyrics in parts one and two. This time I’m going to complain about a much more popular artist: Rod Stewart. And a much much more popular song: Maggie May.

Some of you will be aghast that I would disparage such a great song but I think once you see what I have to say you’ll agree. Because I’ve convinced myself of my superior powers of convincing.

The tune of Maggie May is okay. I don’t get why it was such a success, but I think I’d be inclined to like it on the music alone. The subject of the song I don’t have a problem with either. I don’t know if it’s based on a real experience in Rod Stewart’s life, but it certainly sounds like an honest song about a real experience. But I just can’t get past the horrible lyrics.

Many of the lyrics in the song are fine, but then he’ll throw in some line that seems clearly like he was stretching for a rhyme. It just sounds so amateur. Then again, since the protagonist is a young uneducated kid, maybe that was the intent and he’s a more genius songwriter than I’m giving him credit for.

I’ll reproduce the lyrics here, commenting on the groan-inducing rhymes. Feel free to groan along at home.

Maggie May

Wake up Maggie, I think I got something to say to you
It’s late September and I really should be back at school
I know I keep you amused but I feel I’m being used

Editor: Uggggh… amused/used. And who says “keep you amused”? In other words “I amuse you” but that wouldn’t rhyme so I’ll twist it around so that it does.

Oh Maggie, I couldn’t have tried any more

You lured me away from home
Just to save you from being alone

Editor: Not horrible… worthy of a wince but not quite a groan.

You stole my heart and that’s what really hurts

Editor: The last line of each verse doesn’t rhyme with anything, which I commend him on. I wish he had followed that policy for the entire song.

The morning sun, when it’s in your face really shows your age
But that don’t worry me none, in my eyes you’re everything
I laughed at all of your jokes, my love, you didn’t need to coax

Editor: WORST LINE OF THE SONG. There should be a room in the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland for worst lyrics, and this should be inscribed over the entrance. I hear this line and I picture Rod in one of those typical movie scenes, bent over a pad of paper with a pencil in hand, surrounded by a hundred wadded up pieces of paper on the floor. “What rhymes with jokes?.. ‘Folks’? No.. ‘Smokes’? Hmm ‘You even let me bum your smokes.’ No.. ‘Cokes’? ‘Coax!’ Yes! You didn’t need to coax my love… but how do I get the word ‘coax’ at the end of the line? I know, I’ll just move the subject to the beginning of the line. Perfect! Moving on..” Hey Rod: your lyrics, they suck. I’ll use your technique on a line of my own: “You’re so lazy with your verses / My mouth, you make erupt in curses”.

Oh Maggie, I couldn’t have tried any more

Editor: As I said: lazy. You should be apologizing to us for not trying hard enough.

You lured me away from home
Just to save you from being alone
You stole my soul and that’s a pain I can do without

All I needed was a friend to lend a guiding hand
But you turned into a lover and mother, what a lover, you wore me out

Editor: ???

All you did was wreck my bed and in the morning kick me in the head

Editor: ???!!!! Either this guy is really really stretching for a rhyme or he was making love to a horse.

Oh Maggie, I couldn’t have tried anymore

You lured me away from home
‘Cause you didn’t wanna be alone
You stole my heart, I couldn’t leave you if I tried

Editor: Yeah we’re getting that whole lack-of-trying thing.

I suppose I could collect my books and get on back to school

Editor: And take some grammar classes perhaps?

Or steal my daddy’s cue and make a living out of playing pool

Editor: Okay I admit the double-meaning of ‘cue’ is somewhat clever, but it seems he made up this “father is a pool player” thing just for a rhyme.

Or find myself a rock and roll band that needs a helpin’ hand

Editor: Here Rod, I think you dropped something… some syllables. Heh.

Oh Maggie, I wished I’d never seen your face

You made a first-class fool out of me
But I’m blind as a fool can be
You stole my heart but I love you anyway

Editor: This is the only decent verse of the song. It’s merely mediocre, not horrible.

Maggie, I wished I’d never seen your face
I’ll get on back home one of these days

Here’s where the song ends and you don’t get to hear Maggie’s response to being woke up by some lazy punk telling her she looks old, and he wishes he never saw her face, and she makes love like a large farm animal. Or perhaps his mother. That’s a shame, because I think it would have made for an interesting song.

Why isn’t this band more popular? Sometimes I’ll hear a good band but I realize they don’t have the type of sound that will make them hit it big, such as Architecture in Helsinki. But other times I’ll hear a good band and be surprised months or years later when they’re not popular. I’m not talking U2 popular, but at least Buckcherry popular. (BTW I saw Buckcherry at Water Street Music Hall last year. Most memorable moment was during “Lit” when they got the crowd chanting “CO… CAINE!! CO… CAINE!!”.)

Morningwood was one of those bands. I heard “Nth Degree” on some commercial and a TV show but then that was about it. There was also Hot Chip. The Warning is an incredible album. I also saw them live at Lollapalooza and they put on a great show. (If you follow that link to their MySpace page, check out “Over and Over” and “Look After Me”.) But how much later is this, and still they’re not well-known. (Note that I’m talking about in the U.S. not U.K. where they have more of a following.) Again - I’m not saying they should be topping the charts, but at least on the radar. Hearing “And I Was A Boy From School” playing in Express For Men doesn’t count.

The Subways are another band that I saw at Lollapalooza in ‘06 that I thought for sure would be bigger by now than they are.

But back to Under The Influence Of Giants…

More so than any of those other bands I mentioned above, this band has a perfect pop-rock sound. I first saw them on MTV. Yes MTV does still play videos, just at strange hours like 6 AM but with my TiVo I don’t care when they’re on. “Mama’s Room” was catchy, the band had a unique (well, uniquely retro) look, and the video had hot scantily-clad girls in it. What’s not to like there? I thought they’d just go up from there but whenever I mention them to someone I’m just met with a blank stare so I assume they didn’t get any Top 40 play. I really don’t get why. I read online that they were pretty popular downloads on iTunes but that’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about popular-popular not Internet-download-popular.

Go to that link above and click on the “Music” link. You can listen to the entire album online. So if you have a high-speed connection you have no excuse to not check out their music. If you don’t have a high-speed connection and you live near me, maybe I’ll let you borrow it. My favorite tracks are “Against All Odds” (not a Phil Collins cover), but it would be hard to pick a runner-up between “Got Nothing”,”In The Clouds”, “Mama’s Room”, and “Heaven Is Full”. That was a problem when I was putting together a playlist for a little get-together I had a few weeks back. I had to stop myself from adding the entire CD on there and have people say “who the hell is this band you keep playing??”.

Did you listen to them yet? Well what are you waiting for? I’ll be here when you’re done.

OK so now do you agree? They’re not going to make music history, but they’re catchy and fun and in my book there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s a perfect CD to play in the car and bop along to while drumming my hands on the steering wheel. On an R.E.M. scale, I’d place their sound somewhere north of “Imitation of Life” but south of “Shiny Happy People” in its pop-ness.

Let me know what you think, or if you think they are popular and I’m just out of the loop.

I saw this great hip-hop duo perform at The Bug Jar this weekend. They’re from Pittsburgh and they’re called Grand Buffet. Their website isn’t very good and has broken links all over the place, but check out the tunes they have on their MySpace page. (Warning: probably goes without saying, but the site contains some naughty words that may not be suitable for work or people with values or whatever. But it’s tame for hip-hop.)

If you only have the time or inclination to check out one tune, try “Benjamin Franklin Music”.

I realize I haven’t written a post in a while. I’ve been traveling a lot. I was in Nashville for two weeks for work, then last weekend I was in Chicago for Lollapalooza. That’s not really an excuse because I had Internet access from the hotel in Nashville, but it sounded better than saying that I just didn’t feel like posting anything.

I still don’t feel like posting anything but I’ll give a quick update about the Lollapalooza trip. It was fun. I saw these bands: The Subways, Panic! At the Disco, Editors, The Raconteurs, Sleater-Kinney, Ween, Be Your Own Pet, Living Things, Wolfmother, Sonic Youth, The Flaming Lips, The New Pornographers, Sparta, Hot Chip, The Shins, She Wants Revenge, and Queens of the Stone Age. I also saw a bit of The Frames, The Go! Team, and 30 Seconds to Mars but I wasn’t very into them. The lead singer of 30 Seconds to Mars, Jared Leto, was just downright annoying.

We watched the first couple songs of Kanye West but didn’t stick around for him, and the last day Red Hot Chili Peppers played but we left before that started. I felt like we should have stuck around anyway just so we could say we saw them and I wouldn’t get any crap from RHCP fans. They have some good songs for sure, but I really didn’t care about seeing them and neither did Mike or Jane so we just left and had dinner.

The highlight for me was seeing Sleater-Kinney. They absolutely rocked. Now that they’re breaking up, I can only hope they’ll do a reunion tour sometime. My other favorite performances were The Subways, Wolfmother, Hot Chip, and Queens of the Stone Age. I’ll definitely try to go again next year.

I’m going to Lollapalooza in Chicago with Mike & Jane for the weekend of August 4-6.  They went before but this will be new to me.  Multiple bands perform at once (on different stages of course… although that would be interesting to see too) so I had to make some choices about which I wanted to see.  Lollapalooza’s site posts the schedule so you can plan out your days.  I don’t know what Mike & Jane’s choices will be but here’s mine.

Some of these bands I had never heard of before, but when I checked out their sites, I discovered that they were pretty darn good.  So now I’m excited to be able to see them perform.  I have a feeling I’ll be purchasing a bunch of CDs in the near future.  I know that I won’t be able to see all of these bands, since I’ll have to walk between stages and take breaks and such, but it’ll be my goal to see as many as I can.

Warning: don’t click on any of these links unless you are prepared to be jealous of what you’ll be missing!

Friday:

• Deadboy And The Elephantmen
• The Subways
• Aqualung
• Panic! At The Disco
• Editors
• Mates Of State
• The Raconteurs
• Sleater-Kinney
• Ween

Saturday:

• Be Your Own Pet
• Living Things
• The Go! Team
• Built To Spill
• Wolfmother
• Sonic Youth
• The Smoking Popes
• The Flaming Lips
• The New Pornographers
• Kanye West

Sunday:

• Boy Kill Boy
• Sparta
• The Hold Steady
• Hot Chip
• Pepper
• The Shins
• She Wants Revenge
• Queens Of The Stone Age
• Broken Social Scene
• Red Hot Chili Peppers

I know that Mike won’t want to see Queens Of The Stone Age because they’re playing at the same time as Wilco.  I could be persuaded to see Wilco instead, but the few songs of theirs that I’ve heard haven’t bowled me over.  I know, there’s a lot of people that would consider it blasphemy for me to say that, but it’s true.  Maybe I’ll have to borrow their CDs from someone and devote some more attention to them.

Sleater-Kinney just announced that they’re breaking up - or “indefinite hiatus”, whatever they’re calling it.  So this may be the last chance I’ll ever have of seeing them in concert.  They’ll be performing at the same time as Violent Femmes, which is good for me because I don’t care about seeing Violent Femmes.  But I imagine most of the concertgoers will want to see them, so maybe I’ll be able to get closer to the stage for Sleater-Kinney.

After I wrote about the horrible Silverchair lyrics in my last post, I went and listened to the album. I did it while doing some work, so I managed to not let the lyrics get to me too much, but once in a while a line would come through that was so bad I had to put my head in my hands and groan. Now I can’t get those songs out of my head. So why suffer alone when I can share my misery with you all?

Looking on the bright side, it’s good to know that the lead singer, Daniel Johns, never fantasized about committing suicide. I know this because he wrote a song in which he fantasized about committing suicide and there’s no hint of honesty in it.

Suicidal Dream

I dream about how it’s going to end
Approaching me quickly
Leaving a life of fear
I only want my mind to be clear

People making fun of me
For no reason but jealousy
I fantasise about my death
I’ll kill myself from holding my breath

My suicidal dream
Voices telling me what to do
My suicidal dream
I’m sure you will get your’s too

Help me, comfort me
Stop me from feeling what I’m feeling now
The rope is here, now I’ll find a use
I’ll kill myself, I’ll put my head in a noose

[Chorus]

Dreamin’ about my death, dream…

Suicidal, suicidal, Suicidal dream

Voices telling you what to do? So you want to kill yourself because you’re schizophrenic and voices are telling you to? But you also talk about people are making fun of you. And if you know that they’re only doing it because they’re jealous then would you really be considering suicide?

In contrast, here’s a good suicide song by Blink 182. I don’t know if these guys really thought about suicide, but it sounds much more realistic. (Just in case this topic is too dreary for you, it has a happy ending. Sort of.)

Adam’s Song

I never thought I’d die alone
I laughed the loudest who’d have known?
I trace the cord back to the wall
no wonder it was never plugged in at all
I took my time, I hurried up
the choice was mine I didn’t think enough
I’m too depressed to go on
you’ll be sorry when I’m gone

I never conquered, rarely came
16 just held such better days
days when I still felt alive
we couldn’t wait to get outside
the world was wide, too late to try
the tour was over, we’d survived
I couldn’t wait till I got home
to pass the time in my room alone

I never thought I’d die alone
another six months I’ll be unknown
give all my things to all my friends
you’ll never step foot in my room again
you’ll close it off, board it up
remember the time that I spilled the cup
of apple juice in the hall
please tell mom this is not her fault

I never conquered, rarely came
16 just held such better days
days when I still felt alive
we couldn’t wait to get outside
the world was wide, too late to try
the tour was over, we’d survived
I couldn’t wait till I got home
to pass the time in my room alone

I never conquered, rarely came
tomorrow holds such better days
days when I can still feel alive
when I can’t wait to get outside
the world is wide, the time goes by
the tour is over, I’ve survived
I can’t wait till I get home
to pass the time in my room alone

I just read online that the lyrics “I took my time, I hurried up / the choice was mine” is a reference to the Nirvana song “Come As You Are”, which has the lyrics “Take your time / Hurry up / The choice is yours”. You’d think I would have made that connection at some point.

Another good suicide song is “I Think I’m Going To Kill Myself” by Elton John. The lyrics are by his longtime songwriting partner Bernie Taupin. Most of Taupin’s lyrics make no sense. Even he admits he doesn’t know what some of his songs mean. But this is one of his more straightforward songs.

I Think I’m Going To Kill Myself

I’m getting bored
Being part of mankind,
There’s not a lot to do no more,
This race is a waste of time.

People rushing everywhere,
Swarming round like flies,
Think I’ll buy a forty-four,
Give ‘em all a surprise.

Think I’m gonna kill myself,
Cause a little suicide,
Stick around for a couple of days,
What a scandal if I died.

Yeah, I’m gonna kill myself,
Get a little headline news,
I’d like to see what the papers say
On the state of teenage blues.

A rift in my family,
I can’t use the car,
I gotta be in by ten o’clock,
Who do they think they are?

I’d make an exception
If you want to save my life,
Brigitte Bardot gotta come
And see me every night.

At first glance, the lyrics may seem silly but that’s the point. He’s a petulant teenager who’s not seriously suicidal. He’s just pissed off at his parents and fantasizing about what it would be like if he could kill himself and stick around after his death to see all the commotion he caused. The music underscores the silliness of it because it’s an upbeat ragtime tune. It even has a tap dance solo in it. That whole Honky Chateau album is just great.

One more thing, not suicide-related. (I couldn’t end on that.) In my previous post, I mentioned that there was another artist I was going to discuss. That artist is Jewel. Now, I’m not saying her lyrics are bad. They’re okay. Just… okay. I mean it’s no Insane Clown Posse. Back when she came out with that collection of poems, A Night Without Armor, I thought “Wait a minute.. does she actually think her lyrics are good??!” I don’t know, I don’t read poetry and her book was a bestseller or something, so maybe it’s considered good. But doesn’t quite do it for me.