I want to inform all of you that here at magicpork.com, I have a “No-Spoiler Guarantee“®. I have a TiVo and often watch programs days after they air, and I know a lot of you have DVR’s as well. You can visit magicpork.com without fear that I’ll be revealing the details of your favorite episodes before you’ve had a chance to watch them. Same goes for movies and books. But I’ll be spoiling the hell out of music. Like did you know that if you try to dance too close to Fergie and touch her hump she’s gonna start some drama? Well you do now! I’ll be ruining those songs for you left & right so get used to it!
So you can expect some sort of *spoiler* warning when the post contains potential spoilers. This post will be discussing a recent TV episode, but I’ll give you the spoiler warning before I start with that.
Those of you who don’t watch Battlestar Galactica, I have to tell you that it’s one of the best shows on TV. Seriously. When friends first told me about it, I thought it sounded like just some silly sci-fi show, so I understand if you’re thinking the same thing, but trust me it’s not. See, I was sneaky. If I put in the title of the post that I was going to discuss Battlestar Galactica, many of you would have skipped right past it. Be forewarned that from time to time I will actively seek to deceive you. For example, “No-Spoiler Guarantee“® isn’t really a registered trademark of magicpork.com. I’ve applied for it. No I haven’t. See that was another lie. You get the idea. But believe me about the spoiler alerts.
Now those of you who don’t care about Battlestar Galactica are excused. But come back for my next post, where I’ll be discussing Middle East politics.
Some of you still there? Great. First off, congratulations on your good taste in TV shows. But this isn’t a post about how great the show is. You guys already know that. It’s about how the last episode was disappointing. I guess it was bound to happen. They finally had a bad episode. It was just full of clichés.
*** MINOR SPOILERS ***
In the opening scene of the episode, Apollo is pointing a gun at some tough guy. The tough guy says, very confidently, “You won’t shoot me. You’re not like me.” How original. So I’m already wary about this episode, but okay I’m willing to overlook that one. Then they take us back to 48 hours earlier. I don’t have a problem with this technique but I don’t like it when TV shows abuse it. If you’re going to do something like that, there should be a reason for it. When knowing what will happen in the future sheds a different light on events happening in the past, then it’s cool. But this time, not so much. They could have just as easily told that story without the flashback, and they probably intended to, but then in editing they realized the beginning was too boring so they threw that in there to grab our attention.
We also had the hooker with a heart of gold, who’s of course only doing it to provide for her adorable little girl. She came out of nowhere and just screamed “plot device”. I don’t mean her character literally screamed “plot device”. That would have been funny if she had.
There were also some long-lost-love flashbacks from Apollo for some girl that, if I’m not mistaken, we’ve never heard anything about before. And that wouldn’t have been so bad if they didn’t keep repeating the same damn cheesy clips! They looked like they were out of a soap opera.
I expect that this was just a bad episode and we’ll be returning to greatness next week.
One more thing… I’m not going to discuss Middle East politics in my next post. I don’t know jack about that. But don’t tell the others that stopped reading earlier. It’ll be our little joke on them.